.: × вυťťεгƒℓч вαℓℓεгıηα × :.

Just as I promised, I’ll keep you guys completely updated on what’s going on with me. Right now I’m sitting in school, having writer’s block from the novel I’m working on. So I’m allowed to spend the time writing for my blog; god I love this place!
Just spoke to my adviser and he told me I’ll get money from the government to buy my bus tickets, which means I’m not really in that much trouble financially, though I don’t know if I actually get the money now. They should go to my account each month, but I’m actually pretty sure they don’t, he’s going to check that for me tomorrow.

And this afternoon, we’re all going to watch “Alice in Wonderland” in the big cinema in town. AND: I don’t even have to pay for it! <3

Anyway, that’s not what I wanted to talk about. This post is going to be about my nine days of pure misery. It started March 4^th and didn’t stop before Saturday the 13^th.

Day 1:  
Two friends and I were going to fly to Stockholm to see Tokio Hotel. Everything went according to planned right until the moment I got held back in front of the plane. They wouldn’t let me on the plane, because I didn’t have my passport and since I don’t have a driver’s license, I couldn’t show them and ID with my picture on it.

So I had to let the girls go and walk down to the police station at the airport to get an emergency passport made. But that apparently costs 700DKK which is basically as much as an actual passport. And I didn’t have my credit card with me. -.- 
After trying everything to convince Norwegian they had to let me though, I broke down crying and had to call Marie’s dad and have him come and pick me up. He drove me home to pack the rest of my stuff and took me to the train station, where he paid to have my ticket moved from Saturday to Thursday. He paid for food, coke, M&Ms AND he gave me 200DKK on top of that just to make sure I got home alright.

Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t rescued me. I got home alright, but I was so heartbroken. I miss seeing the boys doing a show and I can’t bear the thought of not being able to see them more than that one time this tour. s:

Day 2:
I woke up feeling even more miserable than when I went to bed. Dad said he thought I had pneumonia, so I called the doctor and got an appointment that afternoon. Turned out it was some sort of virus and there was nothing to do but wait until it cleared out.
It’s always like that when I’m sick -.-‘ So I went home and felt extremely sorry for myself.

Day 5:
Since I’m on antidepressants, I have to go to checkups every other week and that day I had an appointment with him even though I felt utterly miserable when I woke up. I had to cancel another appointment I had with a councilor-thingie in town.
When I got up there, I told him I felt like shit and that I wanted to cut myself and that I had suicidal thoughts. So he sent me to the psychiatrical emergency room and after sitting there a few hours, my mum called me and I had to tell her about all of it >.< So not very comfortable!
She ended up coming out there to pick me up, just as I actually got to talk to a doctor (she said nothing and she wasn’t the best at Danish either o.o) – She wanted to keep me there. So I had to spend the night at the hospital, feeling even worse than before, trying like mad not to cry..

Day 6:
The next day, I talked to a psychiatrist and I was told I could go home. So I was so relieved. Before I thought the only solution was to be admitted to a hospital and being watched all the time, but that experience was sort of a wakeup call for me. I think I might have been fighting sort of against the pills and the psychiatrist put up my dosage of Zoloft to double amount, and recommended, that I spoke to my doctor about speeding up the treatment with the psychiatrist I’m supposed to see. And maybe talking to him about getting some pills to help me sleep. They all seemed to find my sleeping pattern peculiar.

I called my dad and asked him to come pick me up, but when I called my school, they said I had a bit too much absence so they’d prefer it if I went to school that day. So I had to. -.- Didn’t get anything done though.
Went home exhausted >.< Called in sick the next day.

Day 9:
During the trip to Copenhagen, my piercing had been hurting and irritating me. But I didn’t have the option of going to a piercer to have anyone look at it, because I was in line o.o and when I came home from Copenhagen I was sick and whining like a hungry mouse or something equally annoying.

So last Friday I woke up with my lip hurting like you wouldn’t know! x_x So I talked my dad into going with me to have the piercer look at it in the shop where I had it done. She was very surprised and said she’d never seen anything like that before. She needed to get advice from one of the tattooists who is a former piercer. It had almost grown into my lip and she couldn’t remove it. >.<
So I had to go to the emergency room to have a doctor remove it. That was just so painful, even though it wasn’t really as bad as I thought it would be.

The thing, which hurts the most, is probably seeing it not being there, when I loved it so much. It looks all wrong now >.< I’m so sad it’s gone, but it was impossible to save it. Now I have a tiny mark where it used to be and I need to clean it with the most vile-tasting thing ever invented s: And I can’t even eat or brush my teeth up to an hour after cleaning it s:

But in spite of that I’m doing so much better. My pills are working and I’m starting to get my energy back ^^ I’m praying for it to heal fast so I can have the snakebite I really always wanted ö <3

I’m off for now, I’m been ranting too long now xD

Gosh, I’m so behind on my updates! I should have posted something about the concert in Copenhagen so long ago, I’m so sorry /:

I went to Copenhagen on the 24^th of February and spent every day there until the concert on March 1^st. We slept in front of the venue and even though it was freezing and I had no sleeping bag, we had fun and it was nice to spend some time with all the people you talk to all the time but never see.



Every day new people arrived and I got to talk to so many people; I now have about 6 new friends on facebook, 3 new people on msn, 2 people’s phonenumbers and a few new followers on twitter xD *feels popular*

Some of us were very fortunate to know people who lived nearby and they were so sweet to bring us warm clothes, coffee, hot chocolate and even homemade bread and muffins <3

Things like that made it so nice to be there! Sometimes it sucked, it was freezing and some people were getting sick, but in the end it was so worth any second of the wait!

When Monday came, so did the girls. All of a sudden, we went from about 50 to 100 people in the line. At that point, I was pretty relieved I wasn’t technically in charge of the number-system. (Even though some people didn’t seem to grasp that fact)



When Security came and put up the fence, we were put in the line by the numbers and to make sure nobody cheated in front, we were split into groups of 50.
But in the end they said, they’d open all doors, which of course pissed us off, we had not been there that long to have people run to the front row who came in just that morning -.-

When they let us to the doors, I was in front of one, but just before opening, they told us to move from that door, because it wasn’t going to get opened, which made me cry hysterically, since I was sure I wasn’t going on the front row.

I was so lucky to have my amazing friend Stine beside right there. She spotted an opening and made sure I got over in front of another door. (Funny enough the exact one I was just chased away from. What’s the point in doing something like that?!) I made it over there just in time and I was among the first inside.
But the people who were supposed to check the tickets took ages on doing it, so I had to stand there holding the pressure of the girls behind me, while they let about 10-15 people through.

I did manage to get a front row spot and when I spotted the girls I had been in line with, I got their attention so us with numbers 1-4 were on the front row <3 And we actually had a pretty amazing spot!



I know so many people say “Oh I had eye contact with *whoever*..” but I’m sure I did. You know that feeling, when you can just feel someone looking at you? That’s what it was like, when Bill stepped out on that podium-thingie one time. <33
It felt like it was several minutes, but of course it was about 5 seconds or something like that :P Anyway it was one of my favorite moments of the concert ^^
It was so huge, I have no words to cover it except these: I now have another add to the list of things I classify as “The biggest things, which ever happened to me”!

I had been feeling pretty lousy all day, halfway losing my voice and not eating anything. Then when we went in there, the pressure came, the heat of the flames got to me. I think it was a combination which let me to collapse and be unable to breathe right when the lights were back on. I don’t really remember that much, besides a girl asking me if I was okay and I said no..

I was carried out backstage and I sat on the floor trying to catch my breath still, with two girls beside me, one of them crying and shaking and her friend calling her mum.
Then I thought, maybe someone saw me getting carried out there so maybe someone will come and be there with me. But nobody did. This sounds like I’m such a drama queen and I hate it when I do that >.<
- Point is, I needed someone there at that point, but nobody came. It seems a bit weird to me, that I was standing with 5 girls I know and not one of them came out behind. Or they didn’t see, they were probably too busy with getting out. No matter what I still find it slightly odd.

Then one of the guys came and asked me if I needed some air and he was about to take me outside when some girls asked him something and he asked if I could handle if by myself and I just nodded.

Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to do, but I didn’t want to be any trouble to them. So I went outside and sat down. Then a woman came and she stayed with me until Marie and Ea found me. Then I got the jacket I had borrowed from Marie and we went home. 

It might seem like it was a horrible experience, but even though I’ll never go to a concert to get in the front row, or be in line for that long in DK, the concert was exceptional and SO amazing there are no words! <3

If you get the chance, go see them live, they’re so awesome live!