What doens't kill you makes you stronger?
I'm not too sure about that >.<
First of all I’m just going to say, that what I’m going to write now, is most likely just going to seem like a load of crap, since it’s sort of ridiculous, I guess..
So please, don’t comment or say anything. This is just something I need to get out, because I didn’t get the chance to tell anyone all of this and it needs to get out now.
So.. Now it’s Sunday. Today has been awful really /: I had a slight hangover because of us going out last night. But it was not really the problem.
The thing is, I’m so deeply in love and right now she’s not here. She’s in Germany all damn weekend to have an amazing time with some shopping and a great concert with Bushido.
I really really wish that she has the best time, since she really deserves it <3 But I miss her god damn it! I’m not able to talk to her until she’s back home tomorrow night.
This feels like hell, I honestly can’t function when I can’t talk to her. Everyone talks about me going to see her soon and that everything is going to be alright.
Everyone says: “Think positive, think about you seeing her in a week” but it’s not helping! I can’t think positive in any way at all I never could, so just don’t tell me something like that. It’s not helping me!
I’ve been this close to crying all day. And I know she’ll hate this when she reads it, but I can’t help it :’( I need her so badly already it’s killing me to know I’m not going to talk to her for more than 24 hours still >.<
As soon as she’s back, it will be 5 days until I’m going to fly down to see her, I’m so excited to do that, but knowing this only makes it even more insane I have the insane need to go and see her in fucking Stuttgart!!
Ever since I signed out yesterday and she left, it felt like someone hit me in my stomach and took all my air away. I wanted to cry, but it was my birthday and I had to help my dad preparing dinner.
All I want is for her to be here, to hug me and make everything else not matter.
I’m so sorry, baby.. I know this isn’t very nice to read and it’s so insane I’m even feeling this jealous. This is so much harder than I thought it was going to be /: I love you so much.. I can’t wait to having you back home <3333
